tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18022977196090154052024-03-12T17:37:44.402-07:00We Are More ThanBrook Burlandohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12662456143308582872noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1802297719609015405.post-11205165579602648362011-05-01T00:23:00.000-07:002011-05-01T00:31:56.659-07:00I Have a Partner<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yDHDsXqOul0/TbzGUJ6t7VI/AAAAAAAAADU/vfzwrY64N74/s1600/1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yDHDsXqOul0/TbzGUJ6t7VI/AAAAAAAAADU/vfzwrY64N74/s200/1.JPG" width="132" /></a></div>Look at this little cutie pie. I remember the exact moment I was given this doll. Her name was Baby Beth and I was her mommy. From early on I knew I would be a mama. I did NOT know I would be mothering alone. I am single mom and it's hard. (just putting that out there right away) I first wanted to write it sucks, but really....it doesn't. It does however feel beyond impossible at times, like when I'm forced to drag my fevered child on a bus shoving him past the driver fast enough so that the moment I remove the bag from his face is NOT the moment he throws up ON the driver. In moments like these, it's really uncool having to apologize, exit said bus, and then wait for the next one because he Really needs to see a Dr.(and if we are too late to the appointment we will be turned away and the trip out was worthless) I could give many fine examples on how being a single mama is difficult and how the role sometimes feels like a reality smack. But I think I'll spare you the details.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KBvx-sjZt6M/TbzGYNxrqBI/AAAAAAAAADY/nWhzR19rEik/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KBvx-sjZt6M/TbzGYNxrqBI/AAAAAAAAADY/nWhzR19rEik/s320/2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Happy to report one thing, the sting from the smack is beginning to fad. This picture here to the left is me at the age of 12. Moments to myself were far and few in between growing up....(humm just like now...doing this mama job).<br />
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My whole life was about to change drastically (forever) right at this time in my life. I look at this picture and think of that <i>hind sight is 20/20</i> saying. The 20/20 vision I see with now, wishes I could have had the knowledge and understanding to clearly scream at this lonely hurting girl -<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Brook - remember you are not alone, you are loved, you have purpose, lessons and successes that are unknown!" </span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LhtTa9ICJig/TbzGaJFapyI/AAAAAAAAADc/1RSpUVz9mGU/s1600/3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LhtTa9ICJig/TbzGaJFapyI/AAAAAAAAADc/1RSpUVz9mGU/s400/3.JPG" width="265" /></a><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ecclesiastics 11:5 As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mothers womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. </span></span><br />
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This precious child here is standing maybe 50 ft from the same spot in the back yard, where the above picture of his mama was taken. How was I to know I'd make a series of horrible choices, be placed into horrible situations that were out of my control and not know (horrible in it's own right) for most of the following 24? years that God's will was directing me in a story He had already written. It's a beautiful piece of writing, full of suspense, conflict, happy endings, warnings and even jam packed with clear instructions. The ending IS my favorite. All the chapters in front of the conclusion build upon the next. He's written a sort of love letter that has my name in the subtitle.<br />
The title is reserved for Gods name!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b0HlEuijZSs/TbzGc446zVI/AAAAAAAAADg/i48xNvt4wLg/s1600/4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b0HlEuijZSs/TbzGc446zVI/AAAAAAAAADg/i48xNvt4wLg/s200/4.JPG" width="132" /></a></div><br />
The way I talk about myself is not how He talks about me. The areas I am hardest on myself, he is kind. When I say I'm not interested, He trips me over and over again in the same "boring" mud puddle. How patient He has been with me! I do have a partner in this parenting, one more available than any of you married folks can ever expect to see in the life here on Earth we live. I've done nothing to deserve this (keep this or lose this partnership).......it's all God's love and Grace on me.......and as for the boy over there to the left......I treasure this creature gift.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iAZEVsJ0m7w/TbzGe9pWA_I/AAAAAAAAADk/Uhd3-Qg_m9c/s1600/5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iAZEVsJ0m7w/TbzGe9pWA_I/AAAAAAAAADk/Uhd3-Qg_m9c/s320/5.JPG" width="212" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.</span><br />
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Yes, I've made mistakes, some so stupid no way would I share them here in this format. I don't feel punished, I'm not in trouble, I am forgiven. I am loved and through Him I am loving. This life (this new life) is still a mess. I am a hot mess technically. But I get to be one and know that I am safe, not abandoned, cared for, and blessed.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fz7G6wJjckA/TbzGk0UbyAI/AAAAAAAAADs/6yZD4VRtjL4/s1600/7.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fz7G6wJjckA/TbzGk0UbyAI/AAAAAAAAADs/6yZD4VRtjL4/s320/7.JPG" width="320" /></a>Do you know how rich I am? Do you know all the promises I have been promised?<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">1 Corinthians 2:9 "For no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has <u>conceived</u> the wonderful things that God <i>has prepared</i> for those that love Him" </span><br />
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See the has prepared? has been - past tense. That's good stuff right there friends!!<br />
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Makes me just a little giddy too, little man<br />
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It's a real good thing we are wanted despite all of our differences. Yes, I am a single mama, I've been thoughtless and fierce, ignorant and memorable, dead wrong and way too silly, stubborn and meek, homeless, chased by a donkey and hurt myself arm wrestling, I've experienced thrill and absent mindedness, been too tired and wished, OH how I've wished I knew how to break dance. (it just looks so fun!)<br />
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God knows my desires, and from what I understand, he loves working those out for us....in His time, His will, His way.<br />
Do I get to know what he has for me in this single parenting gig? Would it change anything if I did know? I like to think that God has me right where he wants me, right where he knows I need to be, and right where he's loving on me. I have faith that my desires are heard and honored.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We're covered, we're good. We are not abandoned or unfavorable.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5dCAKdhvWpg/TbzGvTs93RI/AAAAAAAAAD4/O2kMECETUbY/s1600/10.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5dCAKdhvWpg/TbzGvTs93RI/AAAAAAAAAD4/O2kMECETUbY/s400/10.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>Brook Burlandohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12662456143308582872noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1802297719609015405.post-1233245941975327952011-03-27T04:26:00.000-07:002011-03-27T04:26:17.323-07:00Totally Unrelated<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-_kUMb2JeuWc/TYwoivbGthI/AAAAAAAAAB8/tuxkeQf_O7Y/s1600/HECK.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-_kUMb2JeuWc/TYwoivbGthI/AAAAAAAAAB8/tuxkeQf_O7Y/s320/HECK.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>HECK<br />
It's been too long since my last post. Sorry fans, I have a J O B<br />
now and well, I'm on my computer ALL DAY and I really don't<br />
feel like being on here much in my free time.<br />
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I take pictures wherever I go (almost). So for this post I wanted<br />
to take a break from sharing all my awesome insights (don't you<br />
worry!) I'll still be sharing them with you.....just not here or now.<br />
Come take a stroll with me through a few of my pictures. Some are old and some I took more recently. A few are so random I apologize if you don't understand. My eyes and heart see things you may not. Oh well.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-6G2GEhj14XQ/TYwoncib1GI/AAAAAAAAACE/6fiMkU3tYHA/s1600/moist+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-6G2GEhj14XQ/TYwoncib1GI/AAAAAAAAACE/6fiMkU3tYHA/s320/moist+2.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>MOIST<br />
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Gee, I don't know why people think the Pacific Northwest is sooo soggy? I happen to find moss pretty. I like picking at it as I wait for my sons bell to ring after school. Can't tell you how many bricks I have scrapped clean, or how many trees I've striped of this green soft stuff?<br />
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I've always been a "picker" or a "shredder" and this spongy growth on just about every surface gives me the perfect outlet to satisfy my needs.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Zrh3cT1Vvek/TYwopTkmpbI/AAAAAAAAACI/KCl_YFy775A/s1600/monkey+boy+Tress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Zrh3cT1Vvek/TYwopTkmpbI/AAAAAAAAACI/KCl_YFy775A/s320/monkey+boy+Tress.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>MONKEY BOY TRESS<br />
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Every Tuesday night we go to Community Group. We meet to share our lives with and discuss the weeks sermon and to have intentional loving relationships with members of the church family.<br />
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Not my son. Tress runs downstairs and crams his body into this size 4T monkey costume and stays in it until its time to go home. The younger kids love it (and him) and my best guess is this suit lets him be who he is. A goof-ball true and through. I love how comfortable he is while at CG. I might need to find him a bigger monkey costume though.....<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-TCkUOEQm-xo/TYwolK1ftnI/AAAAAAAAACA/KReFymox0Ds/s1600/Jesus+Facepalm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" r6="true" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-TCkUOEQm-xo/TYwolK1ftnI/AAAAAAAAACA/KReFymox0Ds/s320/Jesus+Facepalm.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-2k4enKyaTUU/TYworPqw6tI/AAAAAAAAACM/JVguthC_4gA/s1600/gluten+free+pizza.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" r6="true" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-2k4enKyaTUU/TYworPqw6tI/AAAAAAAAACM/JVguthC_4gA/s320/gluten+free+pizza.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
JESUS FACEPALM<br />
Because even Jesus doesn't know what to say regarding your stupidity.<br />
Okay, so my humors has gotten me into trouble before.....but come on! THIS IS FUNNY<br />
Sometimes I swear I can actualy hear Jesus smack his forehead at the things I do and say.<br />
Good thing I'm loved. (and you too)<br />
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HE LIKED IT<br />
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I have gone Gluten Free and feel so much better! after much research I have decided to try and transitions my child's gluten laden diet to less. Not a total GF life for him but where and when I can I will. He loved my GF Pizza. He even told his friends about it. In a "mama's cooking was gwood last night" kinda way!!!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-EI5jCda1sl0/TYwotABoNrI/AAAAAAAAACQ/OZhiicXmSNI/s1600/gluten+free+crackers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-EI5jCda1sl0/TYwotABoNrI/AAAAAAAAACQ/OZhiicXmSNI/s320/gluten+free+crackers.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>ADVENTURES IN CRACKERS<br />
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No Gluten, sugar, leavenings, eggs or dairy make it tricky to bake. I figured out how to make crackers. Corn flour does NOT work. (ask my friend Laura) Oat flour made a weird chewy cracker. Bobs Red Mill all purpose GF baking flour (with a pinch of xanthan gum) ROCKS the crackers!!<br />
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The toppings are endless and seriously guys, they are awesome!<br />
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<a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-2hQUNzkG5IQ/TYwoy2eVvZI/AAAAAAAAACY/xkXBhlPJxEw/s1600/whats+his+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" r6="true" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-2hQUNzkG5IQ/TYwoy2eVvZI/AAAAAAAAACY/xkXBhlPJxEw/s320/whats+his+face.jpg" width="320" /></a>WHATS HIS FACE<br />
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Estimates of Seattle's homeless population put the numbers somewhere around 6,000-8,000 people; up to 1,000 are children and young adults.<br />
Each of them have a name. I saw this on Broadway St. the other day and it made me pause. Have you been homeless?<br />
I have. Someone who knows homelessness made this art.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-53r5uRpkOoQ/TYwo1p0chsI/AAAAAAAAACc/ha_yKBEbNmo/s1600/need.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" r6="true" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-53r5uRpkOoQ/TYwo1p0chsI/AAAAAAAAACc/ha_yKBEbNmo/s320/need.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>NEEDS<br />
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This woman was franticly kissing pictures of Saints as she waited for her bus.<br />
Mentaly ill? probably<br />
Isolated? probably<br />
Somebody's mother? probably<br />
watches too much TV? probably<br />
Is loved? probably<br />
Have unmet needs? probably<br />
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As the two love birds sat unaware of her, I prayed for this photo kisser.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-VygHurWEiCY/TYwo4BxcniI/AAAAAAAAACg/kYSRa8fJeYc/s1600/my+moms+glasses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-VygHurWEiCY/TYwo4BxcniI/AAAAAAAAACg/kYSRa8fJeYc/s320/my+moms+glasses.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>MOMS GLASSES<br />
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No I didn't buy them. Had to try them on though.<br />
She wore really big glasses like this. Its a good look ya say? oh....whats that? I should have gotten them?<br />
Forget about it.<br />
Not only are the glasses horrendous, this clothing store (Forever XXI) is like trying to shop in too loud of a music - way over crammed - teeny booper melt down - "I'm not skinny enough" - long lines - bright lights - HELL<br />
Maybe I should have bought the glasses after all?<br />
We only went in there following a friend of ours. My poor child was in tears, so we waited outside in the cold rain, that was better.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-bXeJXsulm4k/TYwpAcnjwcI/AAAAAAAAACk/V8qckrEMJxo/s1600/all+together.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-bXeJXsulm4k/TYwpAcnjwcI/AAAAAAAAACk/V8qckrEMJxo/s320/all+together.jpg" width="304" /></a></div>FAMILY IS GOOD<br />
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Here's a sample of restoration.<br />
Last summer for the first time in over 20 years I was in the same space as 2 of my brothers. I have 5 total.<br />
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I just love this picture and all the people in it.<br />
I thank God for the work he's doing in and through our family. I still have hope that some day this group will grow and its original members will join in.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-KNqBIO1hbms/TYwpU_zyCyI/AAAAAAAAACo/OR0XVz3kYMI/s1600/P1130426.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" r6="true" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-KNqBIO1hbms/TYwpU_zyCyI/AAAAAAAAACo/OR0XVz3kYMI/s320/P1130426.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>UM HUM<br />
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Gotta give it to him....it does look like a gun.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-SwVnE8obH9s/TYwpXXi_X3I/AAAAAAAAACs/DPVEpVQcWDQ/s1600/P1130348.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-SwVnE8obH9s/TYwpXXi_X3I/AAAAAAAAACs/DPVEpVQcWDQ/s320/P1130348.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>P-PATCH<br />
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This is a sweet picture I took in my sisters p-patch last year.<br />
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Just wanted to round out the violence from the above picture. I really don't care for guns and there seems to be nothing I can do to stop or change my boys interest in them.<br />
Is it wrong to tell him I'd break both of his legs to prevent him from going into the army??<br />
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Ahhhh, Aren't these flowers sweet?<br />
What a lovely picture isn't it?<br />
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GARDEN ESSENTIALS<br />
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Dirt? Check<br />
Seeds? Check<br />
Starter pots? Check<br />
Fork? Check<br />
Spoon? Check<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-kkDNt-U8nU4/TYwpu2jKsJI/AAAAAAAAAC0/L2Mjg_e6G8I/s1600/scan0007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" r6="true" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-kkDNt-U8nU4/TYwpu2jKsJI/AAAAAAAAAC0/L2Mjg_e6G8I/s320/scan0007.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>SUNS IN OUR EYES<br />
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What a cool picture.<br />
We really didn't get out much or go on road trips growing up. I do remember this day trip. My mom kept yelling at dad to stop the car so she could pick the wild flowers and dad refused because it was illegal. She sure whined loud and as soon as the car stopped she had us kids pick her some flowers. Must have been a hot day, don't remember the boys going shirtless very often.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-X_pSsnrtY6s/TYwqBa8ViPI/AAAAAAAAAC4/1mioPdXRF2g/s1600/scan0040.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" r6="true" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-X_pSsnrtY6s/TYwqBa8ViPI/AAAAAAAAAC4/1mioPdXRF2g/s320/scan0040.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>WHO ME?<br />
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I was not a clown.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">WHAT!!! How Did I NOT KNOW I was in the SAME CLASS as ANNIE!!!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Yes, this one is all mine.<br />
Like I said he is a goof-ball, true and through.<br />
Monkey suit or no monkey suit.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Brook Burlandohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12662456143308582872noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1802297719609015405.post-22351321114718107422011-03-02T00:18:00.000-08:002011-03-02T00:18:50.273-08:00Starving<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;"><em>Journal Entry 2/19/11 8:17am</em></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Courier New;">First day ever fasting in my whole life. I might die. Stayed up really late reading this wonderful book Carla (sister in-law) mailed me. Shook me with conviction that what I need to do in my life is fast. 3 days. Today is Saturday, February 19th 2011. I'm praying for a hurting relationship between a brother and I to resolve, for forgiveness, direction in my life. God, where do you want me? I want to go, in fact-I will go, but where? I'm praying for my family, every one of them, not just the usual ones. I'm praying for my health, my sugar levels and energy. I pray for my friends that are deaf and blind and especially the ones who have out smarted you God. They are dead wrong and it breaks my heart. I pray for guidance in my parenting of Tress. I must shepherd his heart, how do I teach him, praise him, not lash out against him in my frustration. I want to build him up, encourage him, steer him away from traps and point him to You. I expect this day to be hard, not torturous I pray. I might die. I want my heart to be in search and worship of You. I don't do this as a punishment, I do this to free myself of anger and hurts. I'm so confused God. I love I'm knowing You, thank you for loving me, thank you for holding my hand, calling my name and never forsaking me. I think I might just die.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, </span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> for they shall be filled -Matthew 5:6 </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Happy to report I did not die, But I was crushed.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">In a fantastic "I hope to never go back there" again way.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So what I "thought" I'd get out of fasting.....God totally had his OWN ideas. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Go figure! We truly have a hilarious God my friends.</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Day 1 day of my 3 day water fast was horrible!</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I drank my water and poured my son a bowl of cereal.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Why did I try to pick out a piece of cereal and eat it 4 times! </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">that was weird......</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I drank more water and the time came to make him lunch.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Ham and cheese sandwich, sliced apple and crackers.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">This is where it got <em>real weird</em> for me.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I sliced the cheese and went to put it away in a container.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">There was a slice that I somehow deemed "unworthy" of going into the container.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">What do I do with it?! I have to eat it don't I?</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">It just doesn't look right with all the other perfectly sliced pieces.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">His sandwich has enough already.....what do I do!?</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I laid it on top of the other pieces and it just didn't look right.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I took the "unworthy" piece back out, held it between my fingers as if it were a bomb.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I panicked, silently to myself of course. (I knew I was out of control) </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I can't eat it, I can't throw it away and WASTE IT!</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">That cursed misfit piece of cheese turned me upside down.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Didn't take much.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">Journal Entry 2:35 pm</span></div><div align="justify" style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">This fasting is hard-not as hard as I thought or imagined. I never knew how much of my eating is done on auto pilot. It is so beautiful outside today, a bit chilly, but there's the crisp bright sunshine that makes the bricks golden. I suggested we go for a walk and he wanted to go up to the park. I freaked out! I can't go to the park without food! How would I survive?! wow, I didn't know I was tied to my house because that's where my "food" is. Interesting....</span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Therefore do not worry, saying, "what shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?"</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> or "what shall we wear?"...For your heavenly Father knows that you </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> need all these things.</span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> -Matthew 6:31-32</span></div><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I put the parentheses around "food" in the journal.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Something to think about.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">What did I mean by that?</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Food...the kind that we put in our body's to stay alive?</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Or food, the reading the bible, feeling Gods presence and prayer kind?</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Knowing myself, It's a safe bet to assume I meant the first kind at the time I wrote it.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I wouldn't be hurt if you did the same.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">However, this time of fasting has wonderfully taught me that the other food, </span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">the latter "food"...</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">is yummier than the other.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Those of you that know me....really really know <em>ME</em> (Brook - a <em>Burlando</em>) might be</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">laughing out loud at that comment right there.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">But it's so true! </span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">These past few days and experiences I've been having with God, the closeness I feel with him right now,</span><span style="font-family: Georgia;"> the answered prayers and hunger I have for Him, what I'm learning,</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">the crying out to Him and KNOWING that He's holding me...taste better than</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><em><strong>any</strong></em> Olive Garden, Cheesecake Factory, moms cookin, rhubarb crisp, ice cream,</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">McDonald's french fry, or soft and warm snicker doodle I ever tasted!</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">How can I be so full and yet so starving at the same time?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">Journal Entry 6:04pm</span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">This is real exercise. I'm trying to not turn this into a "stubborn" challenge for me (I might die)...and remember why it is I'm fasting - the Bible says to fast, it doesn't suggest it to the really wise and ready. Good thing because I'm neither. Jesus fasted, Moses fasted, Daniel fasted, every major character in the Bible did, it saved their lives and the lives of others, Jesus didn't perform a single miracle healing until after he fasted for 40 days! Prayers were answered in huge ways, in sustainable ways. Their fasting time with the Lord strengthened their relationships, worship, dependence, and joy in Him. That's what I want, I want that bad. It's a discipline and sacrifice. I love God, I can give up food for Him and as I'm doing that, I get to rest in Him. Sounds perfect to me.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #990000;">Blek! The water taste so nasty from the sink....how come I never tasted <em>that</em> before! Am I just now beginning to taste?</span></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> "We live by faith, not by sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7</span></div><br />
<div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Funny how I've been drinking the tap water for 6 years and never tasted how bad it was.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">In comparison to the rest of the country's tap water...or the worlds...Seattles is amongst the best I know - believe me, I know. </span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">But I taste the <em>something yucky</em> in it now - that wasn't there before.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Funny how I also thought my relationship with God tasted just fine.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Not until I started starving for Him and eating His word did I learn just how</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">incredible He tastes.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I'll never go back to my plain, unseasoned, mundane diet of Christ.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Day 2 of my 3 day water fast was horrible!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Thankfully the fuzzy heavy headache of day 1 was gone.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Day 2 had a random list of body aliments. </span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">My feet were dragging concrete behind them.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">My eyes felt like I smeared Vaseline in them. (I didn't)</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">My hearing was too sensitive, I couldn't bear others voices or the radio.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">My eyes also kept leaking....I don't <em>think</em> I was crying?</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">My neck was stiff and sore down my back.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Other than that, I was feeling strong.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">UNTIL</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I went grocery shopping at Grocery Outlet.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">That place is packed to the ceiling with what I like to call "crap food"</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Tress will ask me for something like Oreo Cakesters and I say NO, It's Crap Food!"</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">fruitloops - crap food</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">pop tarts - crap food</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">bag of circus cookies - crap food</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Slim Jims - crap food</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I'm sure you get what I'm describing.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I know I was hungry, but not so hungry to justify what happened to me in that store.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">The crap food was talking to me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"> "you know you want to eat me"</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"> "I'm not that bad for you"</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"> "buy me now for when you're done doing this fasting thing"</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"> "I might be crap food, but not really <em>bad</em> crap food like __________ "</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"> "put me in your cart B r o o k, it'll be o k a y"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I was trippin!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I had to close my eyes and pray right there 5 times to please stop</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">the food from talking to me in such dangerous and demeaning ways!</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I had to catch my breath and put my crap food blinders on many times.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Don't know how the blinders kept slipping off!</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">It was hell. I hated everything about that store. </span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">(kind of a bummer because I used to like it)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I came home beat up, ashamed and so embarrassed by my </span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">obvious weak crap food constitution.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">When did this happen to me?</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">When did my sick relationship with food start?</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">It's easy (too easy) to point my finger at my mom.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">It's quite possible this sickness was then reinforced while growing up in foster care.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">"Their" food wasn't mine.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I didn't get to make choices.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I wasn't taught nutrition.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I didn't always know when the next meal would be put in front of me.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I had to keep pushing my hurts down with something right?</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Food works for that....works good in fact.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">What a mess I am.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">And THAT is what I prayed out to my God that night.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I'm so sorry for loving food more than I loved Him.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I prayed for Him to take that away for me.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">It's work, I'm a work....and I'm worth it.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">Journal Entry 2/21/11 12:35pm</span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Managed to get my dishes done. Since when did that pot become so heavy! My stomach growled today. It was a small low rumble kind of growl that took me quite by surprise. Curious it took 2 and 1/2 days for that to happen. I get so freaked out when I "think" I'm starving. I'll say things like, "I'm so hungry I can't even think!" and it's true, that's how it gets for me but for 2 and 1/2 days now I have not eaten and not once have I been unable to think.</span></div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than </span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" Isaiah 55:9</span> </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I sure was moving slow by the end of my 2nd day.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I was so happy to put my child to bed so I could climb into mine.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Once I was there I couldn't put my bible down.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I struggle with where to read...maybe because I'm just in the last year opening it.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I find it so helpful to sit quiet, ask myself how or where I need help.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I wait for a word or theme to come to me and then I look in the back.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Every time my word has been there or a close enough variance.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">This night I wanted to look up "new."</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">So good, I'm tellin ya! You should look it up.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 3 of my 3 day water fast was horrible!</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">This day was so long and slow and full that I couldn't even journal.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I simply could not lift my pen. All I could do was read and pray.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">And drink warm water with grated fresh ginger.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I can't tell you how my son was parented, or how we still made it on the bus</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">with 2 other little boys to bible study. </span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I was "somewhere else."</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I remember looking forward to breaking my fast, but not ready to end the experience.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I read the Book of Daniel (I think in my 2nd day).</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I prayed about how to end my fast but "not end it"</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">If that makes any sense?</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I am now on the Daniel Fast.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Real simple it's a Strict Vegan diet minus all and any sugar/sweeteners.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">That means no honey and agave.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I also deleted all gluten.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I only drink water. No tea, no juice, no nothin - but water.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">What started as a 3 day fast, has turned into a 21 day fast.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I'm forever changed by this fasting.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Everyday I am seeing, hearing and feeling answered prayers!</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I prayed for my brother to call me, he did.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I prayed for someones heart to soften. </span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">This person called out of the blue just to say, "I love you </span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">and I think you're a beautiful person."</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I've known this person for 10+ years and NEVER have they EVER said anything like that.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I'm praying for a new friend and their addiction to alcohol and they "on their own"</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">called an outpatient treatment and is going to meet with them for intake in 2 days.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">"On their own" is funny to me. God had something to do with that!</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I prayed for a way home from bible study with 3 little boys and that ride has appeared.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I prayed for direction in where he wants me.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I maybe got a job tonight? It's short term and part time.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I asked and there it is.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">That's how God rolls.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I'm totally starving right now.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">The first picture I took 2/19</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">The second picture I took 2/27</span></div><div align="left"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"></span> </div><div align="left"> </div></div></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/--qZoudhLbNo/TW33Sr_gBwI/AAAAAAAAABI/_AAM0ym3aXY/s1600/204.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" l6="true" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/--qZoudhLbNo/TW33Sr_gBwI/AAAAAAAAABI/_AAM0ym3aXY/s400/204.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-MyL1xCfAlLQ/TW33bpM6J8I/AAAAAAAAABM/Kh9IJbBb39g/s1600/210.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" l6="true" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-MyL1xCfAlLQ/TW33bpM6J8I/AAAAAAAAABM/Kh9IJbBb39g/s400/210.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div>Brook Burlandohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12662456143308582872noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1802297719609015405.post-25380274123704338122011-02-15T20:20:00.000-08:002011-02-15T20:23:42.275-08:00This Just Sucks4th and 5th graders + 26 boys and girls + Valentines Day = weirdness all around!<br /><br />Yesterday, I spent a few hours with 25 of my sons’ classmates.<br />Observing these strange creatures at work within their framework of “playground politics” had me thinking about us. I’m talking about US as adults and our ability/inability to love right.<br />Love is a funny thing, it’s something we all need and desire, it’s something God commands us to do, and it’s something that is so confusing, misunderstood, misused and taken for granted. Love is spoken, shared, grown, expressed, denied, painful, free and/or costly, wonderful and/or tragic, withheld, and implied. The word love is mentioned in the NIV bible 508 times. Words such as ‘loves’ and ‘loved’ bring that number up to 697. (wiki.answers.com) so there’s defiantly something to be said about it right! <br /><br />Here’s some of what WE say…<br /> <br />“I love peanut butter”<br />“I love the smell of the first rain after a dry season”<br />“I love this T.V. show”<br />“I love your hand bag”<br />“I love it when my laundry’s caught up”<br />“I love that color on you”<br />“I love Christmas lights”<br />“I love Trader Joes”<br /><br />How often do we say such comments without realizing the emptiness and power we take away from such an awesome thing; LOVE. It’s something to think about anyways (for me at least). Has it simply become a habit of our culture to throw the word around depreciating loves value or do we really mean it? Does it happen everywhere, within all languages? Have we been doing this forever? Does it make anyone else cringe as it does me? Do I REALLY LOVE Trader Joes? Maybe……maybe I do! Maybe that’s okay too; I do love a good bargain! hehe. I have no definitive statement about our human tendencies to throw the word love around like popcorn; it’s just odd to me when I really give it thought. All this came about as I interacted with and observed the strange creatures of Rm. 102 and their Valentines Day treatment of others.<br /><br />The classroom was rearranged and decorated for a pink, red, and heart themed party.<br />The class list was sent home on Friday with clear instructions to make a card for everyone and to bring a shoe box decorated to receive the valentines in. Added to the list were the class teachers, principle, vice principle, janitor, and secretaries (They ARE wonderful!). There also was a name I did not recognize so my son informed me he is the ‘cool kid in the wheelchair” that is brought into the classroom a few times a week so that he “has friends.”<br /><br />Do you remember Valentines Day? I do. I remember my mom yelling at me because I wanted to add an extra o in the name Brook, like this--Broook. I thought it was way cooler to have 3 o’s and not just a boring 2 o’s. Anyone could see it was! But this made her so furious and so impatient with me. I remember in elementary school having NO CLUE what the “Be Mine” part of it all meant. I didn’t get all a twitter or nervous. I saw it as a perfect avenue to show off my excellent hand printing, mad crafting skills and how cool was it that I got to keep them ALL. All those shinny little cards with mini envelopes and stickers and glitter and sweet pictures. It was perfect I tell you. <br /><br />That is NOT how it goes down now for 4th and 5th graders. It’s a mean popularity contest, a chance to exclude the kid that needs a belt (his butt IS always hanging out) a time to be bossy and ungrateful, a time to feel left out, ignored and unwanted. Here’s a bit of what I saw happening yesterday.<br /><br />Before the teacher announced it time to hand out the cards, one kid lined up their valentines “on display” for all to walk by the desk and search for their name. The set up looked more like a shop actually. Instead of handing the cards out, the kid shouted over all the chatter each kids name in the order of best friend and then down the mental list of importance for them to “step up” and receive their card. The later ones to be called weren’t even handed theirs, they had to search for their name and take it off the table themselves. Honestly, I wanted to take this kid out of the classroom by their ear and “have a talking” on just how rude they were behaving, but I didn’t feel like getting my butt beat by their father, so I chose to instead say a prayer for that one.<br /><br />Most of the girls only brought cards for their friends (other girls) which left the boys receiving a small handful of Star Wars valentines from their buddies. Three girls seem to hold the majority of the boys’ interest and were inundated with cards, candy and stinky pre-teen boys jostling for their attention. There was the group (albeit small) of boys and girls that had no ideal why their peers were acting so weird about it all and didn’t their friends even care that they were missing recess! (I was relieved to see my son still belonged to this group) And then there was the boy who hovered over the treat table and scarfed down 4 cupcakes and sucked down 3 Capri Suns before I signaled to the teacher to maybe go and let him know he’s had enough. <br /><br />One kid filled his cards out so thoughtfully.<br />To: you<br />From: me<br />His classmates were not impressed.<br /><br />Some kids didn’t have any to offer and looked so defeated when the teacher announced it time to hand them out. One kid ran around the room shouting out just how many they had and wanted to compare the numbers with the others only to rub it in every time that they had more. The absent peers’ valentines were either left all over the classroom because there was no shoe box with their name or they were tossed into the garbage can. That was too much for me to witness, so I did step in. I encouraged them take them out of the trash and start a pile for their absent friends. (Because that was the “nice thing’ to do, Holy Cow, did I really have to say that to them!!). And the notorious class bully felt bitter justice when they received not a single card. This kid came and sat down next to me and asked what I would do if somebody gave everyone else a card, but I didn’t get any. I looked intently at this overgrown 5th grader and answered, “My feelings would be hurt, I would have to ask myself why no one gave me any, I would see that the way I treat people matters and I would start treating others how I wanted to be treated.” The kid looks at me and says, “This just sucks”. I agreed that yes, it did suck, but that they could change that. An eye brow was suspiciously raised and the student walked away.<br /><br />I left the classroom feeling all mixed up. Why are kids so mean? I’m so glad to not be all tangled up in those emotions and the need for validation. Valentines Day is stupid. Why do we do this to our kids, set them up to feel left out? Set them up to behave poorly to each other? Why do we have them believe passing out little commercial cards one day a year is how we tell someone we love them or even more importantly that we don’t love them? Bleh! <br /><br />My son came home and told me that the “cool kid in the wheelchair” only got one card….from him….and how sad that was because “he’s really cool mama, and he’s a part of the class too! And he totally needs the cards more than anyone else ever did because most the kids just ignore him.”<br /><br />I couldn’t agree more son.<br />(I love him) and reminded him how perfect Gods love for us is. Thank God.Brook Burlandohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12662456143308582872noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1802297719609015405.post-43943100296017126882011-02-11T00:04:00.000-08:002011-02-11T02:37:56.995-08:00Here I GoWriting a blog has been no random, impulsive act on my part.<br />I’ve spent hours “researching” how to best blog. (whatever that means)<br />I’m frequently asked, “Sooo how’s the blog coming along?” <br />To get the full effect of this question, read it real slow.<br />You see, it’s just that me and blogging feels quite complicated.<br />For at least a year I have wrestled with the idea.<br /><br />Here are a few of the reasons behind “the wrestle”…<br /><br />• I can’t have all my business out there for just anyone to see!<br />• It’s not the right time.<br />• So and so would be upset to see I’m writing about them.<br />• How do I write about truth when the truth is still actively being hidden?<br />• No one would want to read it, why bother?<br />• I’m way too private of a person.<br />• I have nothing important to share.<br />• I’m too new in my walk with God; I’ll come across as silly.<br />• Why share my inner thinkings when I don’t fully understand them myself?<br />• I’m not brave enough.<br />• I’ll run out of things to share.<br /><br />I didn’t number my reasons in this list, so to be nice-I’ve counted for you.<br />There are 11.<br />Of these 11 reasons for not (more like putting off) blogging…<br /><br />6 – are downright hilarious if you knew me<br />5 – I REALLY don’t care (anymore)<br />7 – simply aren’t true<br />5 – I still wrestle with<br />1 – is 100% bound to happen<br />7 ½ - I’m willing to risk<br />5 – I REALLY don’t care (this one is worth repeating)<br /><br />See here’s some of what motivates me…<br /><br />My complete desire to pour my faith into God<br />Being a voice others resonate with<br />Every day being and expressing gratitude<br />Being vulnerable because then I am being real<br />Truth being spoken<br />Seeing the lessons in my face plants (there are many)<br /><br />Wow, I almost sound perfect by this list!<br />As I start opening up through writing you will be privy to my struggles, heartaches, sense of humor, random distracting thoughts, celebrations, and mundane rants. You may very well forget that short list I just wrote out about what motivates me and that’s alright, because the list is more for me than you anyways. <br />All of my reasons behind “the wrestle” are clearly excuses. <br />Some will clearly induce “tricky feelings” and possible adult tantrums and I’m sure I’ll hear about them….but that’s alright too. I’m not out to harm, damage or upset anyone. I’ve got tons to share and a gazillion to learn. <br />Get to know me.<br />I invite you. <br />I dare you even.Brook Burlandohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12662456143308582872noreply@blogger.com5